


Delicate Negotiations

by wendymr



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Banter, Dialogue-Only, Possible start to series 8, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendymr/pseuds/wendymr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, I hear you've been going through sergeants at the same rate Monty goes through litter?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicate Negotiations

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilery for [this press release](http://www.itv.com/presscentre/press-releases/itv-commissions-new-series-lewis#.UvisqqEayK1) concerning the forthcoming Series 8 of _Lewis_.

"So, I hear you've been going through sergeants at the same rate Monty goes through litter?"

"Apparently I'm intimidating, sarcastic, or...and this was my favourite...'not properly appreciative of the many gifts I bring to the position’."

"Sounds a bit like Morse to me. So what’s their problem?"

"Perhaps that they never met Morse."

"Shame, that. Actually, next to him, you're a pussycat."

"I suppose that's good. Might bode ill for me if I were worse."

"Well, s'pose things are different now, all the same. Maybe if you tried to be a little less... you, at least to begin with?"

"Be a little less me. The ongoing goal of my life, I think."

"Pity. Always liked you as you are. Though if you quote me, I'll deny it."

"I knew there was a reason we got on so well, and it wasn't just because you liked Aeschylus quotes early in the morning."

"Nah. It's 'cause you know how I like me coffee."

"I estimate that over the years I've ordered you over 500 cups of the stuff."

"Still a drop in the ocean compared to the pints I bought Morse."

"From what you've said, I'm sure it is. And I had the added benefit of you being willing to pay for your own."

"See what a decent governor I was? And on the subject... what are you going to do about a sergeant?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid word's got out now. No one's over-eager to work with me these days."

"Bloody idiots. Don't know how lucky they'd be. There's got to be someone in the bloody force who understands you!"

"It's my own fault. For whatever reason, I don't come off as having the...personal warmth they look for. I suspect you never had that problem."

"Like I told Innocent a while back, if Morse had been a nice bloke - had ‘personal warmth,’ as you put it - I'd've never made inspector. That's all a load of bollocks. You've got to be good at your job and willing to think for yourself - an' not want mollycoddling."

"Want to come back and be my bagman, sir? You're used to Morse. I would be, as you say, a pussycat in comparison."

"Ha, ha. You ordering me around? No chance, even if you are an inspector now."

"Obviously if I'm still calling you 'sir,' sir, there would be no ordering."

"Daft sod. If we were both inspectors, that'd be ridiculous. What've you got on at the moment, anyway?"

"Victim found in the Ashmolean. No one seems to know how he got there."

"Aren't there already bodies in there? Skeletons, anyway."

"Quite so, sir, although our particular one was found nearer the Raphael drawings."

"Bit of an extreme reaction. Wasn't an art critic, was he?"

"That's the peculiar thing. He was an Egyptologist."

"Okay, well, even I know that Italy's nowhere near Egypt."

"The proximity to Raphael must be some sort of clue or comment, but I can't seem to work it out."

"Maybe... Wait, what is this? Free consultancy?"

"Doesn't have to be. You could come back to work and be paid for it."

"And why would I want to do that? Other than so you could have a partner who isn't completely intimidated by you."

"I would have thought our scintillating conversations would be reason enough, sir."

"Can have plenty of those here. Or at my place, when you have time enough to come over."

"I don't suppose...no. Sorry."

"What? Come on, out with it, man."

"Only I haven't been able to find anyone else who does for me what you do. You... fill in the pieces I can't, make it make sense when I'm... foundering. I haven't found that with anyone else. I'm not sure I can find that with anyone else."

"Well, if you put it like that... You sure it's not just nostalgia, lad?"

"It's not nostalgia, sir. You make me better. You're the only one who does."

"Aye, an' you made me better, too. And... all right, I miss working with you too."

"You'll think about it then?"

"You're serious?"

"Very."

"S'pose the allotment isn't keepin' me that busy. All right, I'll phone Innocent in the morning, see what she says."

"For that, sir, I think I owe you a pint."

"Probably about 500."

"I'll start with one and work my way up."

"That'll do. Mind, if Innocent does agree, remember I'm still the senior partner, Inspector Hathaway."

"Of course, Inspector Lewis. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You'll do. Right, well, you better make sure your people have the murder board and all the evidence in proper order. I'm not coming back if there's chaos."

"I'll have them on it straightaway."

"Good. And you can go to all the management meetings, and write those bloody awful monthly resource reports."

"I've missed you whispering such sweet nothings in my ear."

"Smartarse. Forget the pint - you can come home with me an' cook us dinner. I fancy your shepherd's pie tonight."

"You're sure I wouldn't be intruding?"

"Intruding? Only me an' Monty to mind, and I invited you."

"Monty is very particular, sir."

"Yeah, well, so am I. I don't work with partners who call me sir when they've been told not to, and I bloody heck as like don't do... anything like this."

"Sorry. Robbie. I'd be glad to cook dinner for you."

"For us. And... I'm not wrong about the other, am I?"

"No. Robbie. You're not."

"Glad to hear it, James. Maybe I shouldn't tell Innocent about that, though, eh?"

"It might prejudice her unduly, si-Robbie. And... I'm... glad you're glad."

"Come on, man, let's go home. Much as I'm looking forward to seeing your massive brain in action on the job again, this evening I'm looking forward to seeing those long fingers of yours in action."

"I'd be pleased to oblige on both counts. Home it is."

"...Cutting vegetables, you understand."

"Ah. In that case, I might also need the use of a knife, Robbie. My fingers are good, but they're not that good."

"Well, that's just a line of enquiry I'm gonna have to pursue, isn't it?"

"I look forward to it."

"Not as much as I am, bonny lad; not as much as I am."


End file.
